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My Frustrations
No, this is not my pet
peeves.
These are the feelings I have when I realize that I have so much and
others
have so little. Do I think I am better? No, and I may not have what
some others
have in the way of fine homes or personal possessions. Then, why the frustration?
It’s
because what I have is very sharable and I have not the means to give
it away.
I could give away my savings and then I would be broke and very few
would have
benefited. I really only have a home to live in and some very modest retirement income. Everything I have;
things, security, peace of mind, and experiences with saints and sinners
have been a gift to me. In my middle life I was
unemployed, in debt, and
watching my family crumble before my eyes. Like the
prodigal son, I had slept
with the pigs and would have given anything to
be safe back in my father’s house. I was preserved from fatal
disease, nurtured by new friends, and met a loving mate and companion that
was perfect for me. I was able to clean up my act, clean my soiled linen, and
move into the society of the most wonderful human beings on the planet.
Everything I touched turned to gold. I gained a new son and have had
more joy
with this new family than I had with the previous. It was a gift to me and I
pray and
give thanks that I will always remember that it was a gift. The frustration is that there
are
times when I am touched in my heart by the light of someone’s testimony
in Church
or a remarkable act by one to another and I wish I could share that
feeling,
knowledge, and experience
with someone I know who could benefit from
it. For that matter, I wish
I could share it with someone I don’t know but who
could benefit. Not everyone wants to know
about
the shortcut you discovered. They prefer the old familiar way that gets
them
where they want to go. Some people don’t want to go to new places, they
prefer
the familiar to the unknown. It’s my nature to want to try
new
things, go to new places,
and yet it is important to set limits to control the
risks. I have learned about life in a very uneconomic way. I suffered
losses
before I discovered the value of what I was risking. I had to start
over many
times. I fell when I learned to skate and ski. I was thankful to find
others
who could help me to avoid the pain. I can see when my own
children are
about to make a mistake or cannot overcome a fatal flaw in their
character. I
can warn them, but if they are unwilling to heed my warning, then they
will pay
the price. And if they never get it, they will pay again and again. I have a daughter that is
totally
addicted to cigarettes. She has serious health problems that are not at
all
helped by her addiction, in fact, I am sure that they have contributed
mightily to her condition. She has become impoverished and disabled and
has
very meager means, but she can still purchase the drugs that are
killing her.
Nicotine withdrawal is so severe that she must be hospitalized if she
quits. I firmly believe that she
knows
enough about the workings of faith and redemption to rely on a higher
source of
power than her own will. But, she won’t. She is not ready to do that. There are people who feel
they
have been wronged. They feel they have been the victim. The sad thing
about
this is that the victimizer may not even know the condition exists and
may be
living a stress free life. As long as the victim blames the victimizer
there is
pain and dissatisfaction for the victim. By letting go and forgiving
the
offender, the victim is
freed from the turmoil of hate and
accusation. The desire for revenge is actually more hurtful and
prolongs
altercations. Revenge is not a solution to these problems. Do we have a perfect example
of
how that works in Palestine and Israel? Given the investment in revenge
and
distrust can the current conditions ever be reversed? I doubt it.
Neither party
is a subscriber to the teachings of Jesus and they apparently cannot
even
conceive the peaceful solution on logic alone. I mentioned the wonderful
people I
have been blessed to know. There are two families here in Boise, the
Marti and
Cazier families, who are the parents of a young couple with a
five-month-old
daughter, Sage. They had done everything right. The husband had served
a
mission in a foreign country for the Church. They were
married in the Boise Temple.
Shawn, the husband, was
a musically talented young man who was popular and volunteered his time
to
promote other young musicians. On the way home from a local high school
play, they met a
drunk driver in a pickup truck at a closing speed of over 160
miles per hour in a head on collision that instantly killed the
passenger of
the pickup truck, Shawn,
and the baby daughter, Sage, leaving the wife, Natalie in
a coma that would continue for one month. The truck driver lost his
hand in the
accident. The families were well known
and
the funeral for Shawn and Sage was attended by thousands. The first order of
business was for the two families to make a visit to the family of the
driver
of the truck to make sure they had no needs and to assure them that
they had no
animosity to them and had forgiven the driver. The State
of Idaho, however, held him on $250,000 bail until the first court date
when
the driver pled guilty to two counts of manslaughter and DUI. The next
order of business was to bury the young father and his infant daughter
together
in the same grave. Just like April Aaron forgave
the
man who gouged out her eye, the immediate effort to forgive gave
everyone the
advantage of getting on with life. When Natalie came out of her
coma
she began to develop her short term memory and learned of the loss of
her
husband and daughter her comment was, “Well, I guess the Lord has
something
else in mind for me now.” I’m not saying there wasn’t
grieving, there was, but there was no acrimony or hate. Many people
were also
touched in a positive way and many were taught a lesson about
forgiveness. I was one of them. I had
written a
letter to the editor of the Idaho
Statesman urging the legislature to
raise the liquor tax to cover the education shortfall in the budget.
They had
refused on previous occasions, but finally raised the liquor,
tobacco, and sales tax to
meet the budget. I cannot help but think
that the thought of Shawn and Sage might have influenced the vote
somehow. Natalie has
fully recovered from the accident and has no physical or mental
disabilities
and is getting on with her life, a truly remarkable miracle,
considering the
depth and duration of her coma. As much as I would like to
reach
out and touch others with the precious things I have now, I
realize that I still have a big job to do at home. This morning, driving my son
Sam
to school he shouted out,
“That’s him, that’s the man who ran over my dog. Speed up
Dad, get him!” If I can only teach him the
miracle of forgiveness, I will be a success. |
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